...如何能夠摧毀一段萌芽的關係

沒有人喜歡不愉快的驚喜，但是,4個月前,當阿利森布魯克伊士曼的未婚夫發現了,她的學生貸款債務有多高，他有一個特別強烈的反應：他3天之內取消了訂婚.伊士曼女士說:早在他們的關係開始, 她曾告訴他:她曾1,00,000美元以上的債務。不過，她說:即使她不知道什麼是真正的平衡數目. 像汽車購買者,只側重於你每月的付款，她說去年開了12張支票,每張約1100美元，每年的最低可能的。她的重點不是在底線上，她說，因為它是如此令人沮喪。

但由於夫婦走近他們的婚禮當天，她拿出所有的文書工作，而且顯然，她的總債務實際上約為170,000.00 。 “他指責我說謊，“伊斯曼說，< 31歲>，住舊金山, 任職 X射線技師.和兼職攝影師. 她已經運行了大部分的平衡攻讀學士學位的攝影。“但如果我在撒謊，我是騙自己，而不是他。我並不是真的想知道的全部數額。 “

而此時甚至有些人士，沒有研究生學位， 像伊士曼， 易見,會有6位數字的債务的人. 甚至,人第二段婚姻, 也會有之前的債务帶入.應該是沒有惊喜的可言, 擴增的債務接觸。即使夫婦詳細披露其債務，它構成了一系列挑戰。什么是最好時候,你應該揭示這種規模的債務，在求愛？比你早些時候透露，也就是說，是一種慢性疾病？即使披露，但不會使你嫁不出去，棘手的問題揮之不去。如果一個人帶來了巨大的債務關係，是誰的責任作出良好的義務？而如果是17萬美元，是不是更溶劑夥伴去怨恨，債務隨著時間的推移，不管多早來的披露？畢竟，這將深刻影響到每個財務決策，更何况話來組织一個新家庭, 考慮買房子,生多少孩子的問題.

［此帖子已被 focus 在 2010-9-11 23:06:19 编辑过］

［此帖子已被 focus 在 2010-9-12 9:47:42 编辑过］

How Debt Can Destroy a Budding Relationship

Nobody likes unpleasant surprises, but when Allison Brooke Eastman's fiancé found out four months ago just how high her student loan debt was, he had a particularly strong reaction: he broke off the engagement within three days.

Ms. Eastman said she had told him early on in their relationship that she had over $100,000 of debt. But, she said, even she didn't know what the true balance was; like a car buyer who focuses on only the monthly payment, she wrote 12 checks a year for about $1,100 each, the minimum possible. She didn't focus on the bottom line, she said,because it was so profoundly depressing.

But as the couple got closer to their wedding day, she took out all the paperwork and it became clear that her total debt was actually about $170,000. "He accused me of lying," said Ms. Eastman, 31, a San Francisco X-ray technician and part-time photographer who had run up much of the balance studying for a bachelor's degree in photography. "But if I was lying, I was lying to myself, not to him. I didn't really want to know the full amount."

At a time when even people with no graduate degrees, like Ms. Eastman, often end up six figures in the hole and people getting married for the second time have loads of debt from their earlier lives, it should come as no surprise that debt can bust up engagements. Even when couples disclose their debt in detail, it poses a series of challenges.

Tami Chappell for The New York Times

When, exactly, are you supposed to reveal a debt of this size during the courtship? Earlier than you'd disclose, say, a chronic illness?

[See When It's OK to Carry Debt]

Even if disclosure doesn't render you unmarriageable, tricky questions linger. If one person brings a huge debt to a relationship, who is ultimately responsible for making good on the obligation? And if it's$170,000, isn't the more solvent partner going to resent that debt overtime no matter how early the disclosure comes? After all, it will profoundly affect every financial decision, from buying a home to how many children to have.

［此帖子已被 focus 在 2010-9-12 0:08:55 编辑过］

男女对话

男:过去人们结婚总得查一查对方的三代.

女:那么现代人呢?

男:只需查一查对方的口袋.